Our choice of “rapprochement” is in line with the United Nations theme for 2010. The term comes from an Old French word, meaning to bring together or to approach again. In international relations it means re-establishing cordial relations between nations, or achieving reconciliation among cultures.
Rapprochement seems an appropriate theme for New Zealand, where today there are often divisions between our communities. Where once we could be reasonably sure that our neighbours were of a similar culture to our own, now our streets are a mixture of cultures and ethnicities where migrants from every corner of the earth have come to settle. Under te Tiriti o Waitangi (The Treaty of Waitangi) we are a bi-cultural nation in Aotearoa New Zealand (Maori and The Crown). Today we need also to see ourselves as multiethnic and to recognise the diversity of culture, religion and belief. Many of us welcome and embrace this new multiethnic community, but some may be uncomfortable and possibly afraid.
Like many other societies in the Western world, ours has grown steadily less communicative. People of my mother’s generation knew most of their neighbours and reached out to them. Not so now, as the spin of our busy lives increases speed; like skaters with their arms held close to their body, we find that to reach out is to put on the brakes. As property prices demand more than one income, mothers are forced back to work and pre-school children go into care, the chances for meeting over the washing line (if we can find one) dwindle. Our fences are getting higher and our youngsters become insular behind TVs and computer screens.
Often we look at our neighbours from windows as if peering into a goldfish bowl, observing the other, cringing at their loud music, barking dogs and other annoyances of life. When our neighbours are of a different race, this can add to our tendency to observe rather than engage, as unfamiliar language, customs and dress come into play.
Jesus challenged us to love our neighbours and to live our lives with compassion for others; his summons was never more urgent than now. We often succeed in making approaches, but then people move on and we find we just can’t be bothered, or we observe a dozen pairs of shoes lined up outside the door and make a mental note to avoid inviting them to a meal, as we only have six matching place settings.
If we understood a little more, we may find we have more in common than we think. Most of us would like to cross the invisible line, able to pop over and borrow a cup of sugar (metaphorical or not). Perhaps we need a national ‘Neighbours Day’ on which to reach out and have a street party or simply to leave a small gift of homemade jam on the doorstep with a kind note? If we knew the important festivals, we could leave our gift at an appropriate time.
At Te Ngakau Waiora Mercy Spirituality Centre this year, we’ve decided to find out more about the different religious communities represented in Auckland. There are approximately 40,000 Hindus and 24,000 Muslims and a plethora of other religions in New Zealand. Our knowledge of these people is often limited or even biased by what we glean from the media, rather than from first-hand experience. Are we ready to reach out, not to change them to be like us, but to appreciate the difference and to show the hand of friendship? It’s a risky thing to do. We will have less time and less privacy, but we may gain new friends, new understanding and an appreciation for the diversity of God’s creation.
Finally, it is also interesting to think of rapprochement in terms of the healing of our own personal lives. We can build walls in our hearts of unforgiveness or dislike towards ourselves and others which would compete with the resilience of the Berlin wall. We need to think of ways of being merciful, of dismantling the hostility we have for ourselves and which can, if not dealt with, be projected on to others, preventing us from having meaningful relationships. We hope the services we provide through retreats, workshops and spiritual guidance will go some way in 2010 to helping us find rapprochement in our lives.
Valerie Jabir
Programme Coordinator |